Geeky Kingdom of Gadgets, Games, and Design

Bacon Air Freshener

The Bacon Air Freshener keeps that old woman smell from taking over the inside of your Honda Accord and completely destroying what manliness it has. You’ve agreed to let your wife drive it, but when it stops smelling like meat, things have gone too far. The Bacon Air Freshener isn’t just about odor, it’s about respect. The kind of respect that one man gives to another when he walks into a room and smells the fat of the pig roasting on …

Posted in: Bacon

Bacon Bandages

Bacon Bandages – the only things that get me through my severe badminton injuries. Sure, I have loved ones and friends, but they all just start puking when the blood comes spurting and things get rough. The Bacon Bandages? They’re steely-eyed, phased by nothing, and prepared to get you back on your feet again. For a tin of fifteen of these geeky adhesives, you’ll need $5. The old practice of putting cold meat on an injury is now a thing with …

Posted in: Cool Design, Geeky Products

Bacon Lollipops: Real Bacon Flavoring

Mmmm… Lollipops With Bacon Flavoring! They look like normal lollipops when you unwrap them, but they taste like bacon when you shove them in your mouth! Just like the Pickle Pop – it looks like a normal pickle shaped lollipop, and when you unwrap it, you see that it is a pickled shaped lollipop! Artificially flavored to taste like bacon, these geeky lollipops are only $4 a piece – not bad, not bad at all. Very much unlike Michael Jackson – he …

Posted in: Bacon, Geeky Food

Pet Pal Dog Pen

Stop writing with those pens that aren’t shaped like domestic animals, and get yourself the Pet Pal Dog Pens! There are four of these geeky pens, and they’re all shaped like Daschund/Weiner/Got Put In A Stretcher Machine Dogs. The available colors are green, fuschia, orange, and white. Not pink – fuschia. The best part about the Pet Pal Dog Pens? Their midsection detaches, revealing a writing utensil! Who woulda thunk it? Maybe Benjamin Franklin, but that’s the same guy who thought …

Posted in: Cool Design, Geeky Products, Pens + Pencils

Math Symbol Cufflinks

Math Symbol Cufflinks are for the more refined geek – not overly geeky on the outside, since they have a “real job” and can support their family and go to Comic-Con. I can only do one of those, with my meager income that comes from this blog, and I chose Comic-Con. I don’t have a family to take care of, and I probably never will, since on my list of “Things I Cannot Afford In Descending Order Of Price” family is …

Posted in: Cool Design, Geeky Fashion

CSS For Babies Book

Your baby needs to be the best baby in the neighborhood – that’s why you need to buy the little thing called the CSS for Babies Book. Since he’s already mastered the Introductory Calculus for Infants book, the flesh bag is ready to move on to bigger and better things. Your baby already is looking toward a career of entrepreneurship, just like yours truly, and needs all of the tools necessary to succeed in this doggy dog world. That’s the phrase, …

Posted in: Gags, Toys

Blood Energy Drink

The Blood Energy Drink is for all you zombies who have decided to obey the laws of society and stop eating peoples’ brains. Since the government empathizes with you, they have invented the Blood Energy Drink! This highly caffeinated substance is highly caffeinated. Did I mention how much HOLY HOLY HOLY THERE’S SO MUCH CAFFEINE IN HERE. In addition to all of the caffeine, there is some more caffeine, in addition to the Fruit Punch flavoring. So, in review of my …

Posted in: Geeky Food, Geeky Products

Magical Unicorn Mask

The Magical Unicorn Mask is for all of you geeky crazies (like myself) who like to pretend that you’re a unicorn. You had better watch yourself before I spear you with my glittery horn, bro. The mask is $30, latex, and one size fits all. One size will not necessarily fit all, but mask companies often discriminate against those of us who have oddly shaped heads. (Sorry, Stewie and Hey Arnold.) This mask looks strange, since they decided to use the …

Posted in: Cool Design, Gags, Geeky Products