zombie survival can energy drink

Zombie Survival Can Energy Drink

  The Zombie Survival Can Energy Drink from Neatoshop gives you that last boost of super energy that you need to run ahead of the horde of zombies.  Tongues lashing out at your feet, rogue zombies hurling balls of ice cream, goth zombies piercing their faces – things can get pretty tough.  Your survivor friends need you to be awake when you keep watch, and that’s why they bought you the Zombie Survival Can Energy Drink. Also, because you’re holding a loaded …

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the original football man candle

The Original Football Man Candle

  The Original Football Man Candle from Perpetual Kid is for when the bros are coming over – and not the ones that you met at the WE THINK SAMUS IS SEXY convention.  (Man, that’s an awesome convention, isn’t it?  They basically invented Zero Suit Samus at one of those.) Some guys from work want to come over and watch large men run with a ball until they get rocked to the core by other large men (Americans enjoy this) and listen to …

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heart gelatin mold

Heart Gelatin Mold

  The Heart Gelatin Mold is anatomically correct, and only for the superior of mind.  With this geeky mold, you can literally “eat a heart!”  ”That was never a figurative saying.  when would I say that I’m going to ‘eat a heart’?  Creepo.”  Did you know that cows have two stomachs?  ”You’re trying to change the subject.”  *Does a barber shop song and dance* The Heart Gelatin Mold is only $6 at Baron Bob, and allows you to make as many Jell-o …

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remote control rainbow candles

Remote Control Rainbow Candles

  Remote Control Rainbow Candles combine the old with the new – just like when I put all of the muffins that were made last week but weren’t sold with all of the muffins that we made this week!  The antiquity of the candle has been combined with today’s wireless remote control shenanigans. Back in my day, if we wanted to get our candles to burn different colors, we’d have to travel deep into a cave filled with large rats and harvest …

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Rebel Alliance and Empire Star Wars Cufflinks

  The Rebel Alliance and Empire Star Wars Cufflinks are hot out of the ThinkGeek oven!  These geeky cufflinks are rhodium plated (I don’t know what that means but it sounds like something that gives you cancer) and are a surprising $59.99.  I was shocked when I saw the price tag, and I must surmise that these are top quality cufflinks – only for the most elite businessmen. The Rebel Alliance and Empire Star Wars Cufflinks are available in evil Empire black …

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lazy bows 3d wrapping paper

Lazy Bows 3D Wrapping Paper

  The Lazy Bows 3D Wrapping Paper from Perpetual Kid is for people who are lazy and do not believe in the “it’s the thought that counts” mantra.  I, for one, think that the thought counts as much as Rick Perry can remember the three governmental organizations that he’s going to dismantle. You can think about it for as long as you want, if you end up buying somebody a junk-yard gift or a junk-yard dog, they’re going to be upset.  The first …

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mustachifier baby pacifier

Mustachifier: BPA-Free Mustache Pacifier

  The Mustachifier Mustache Pacifier gets the young ones going early.  Their proud dad and embarrassed mom both sport astonishingly thick upper-lip facial hair, so why not teach the kid early about what’s important in life? And, thank God these hypothetical parents didn’t have a girl – how would you like to be known as the mom who passed on the incredible mustache to her female offspring.  Why do you think the bearded lady doesn’t have any kids?  ”Because nobody wants to …

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the unofficial hunger games cookbook

The Unofficial Hunger Games Cookbook

  The Unofficial Hunger Games Cookbook is comprised of delicious dishes inspired by the best-selling books themselves.  You want French Bread?  Look no further!  You want Katniss’ Lamb Stew?  Capitol Grade Chocolate Cake?  The Hunger Games Cookbook has it all!  Except roasted squirrel.  They eat that in the book, but nobody wants to skin those furry little creatures and eat them unless they live in a society in which people enjoy watching other people beat the living daylights out of each other. …

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