Category Archive for: ‘Bacon’
Bacon Tie
The Bacon Tie is a wonderful piece of geeky fashion that would be great for any meat buff. Are you a man? Do you have what it takes to look lean in a fatty meat? If you’ve attained that level of manhood already, then you’re ready for the next step… the Bacon Tie. This polyester creation is great for very important business meetings when you have to make a good impression. (Not really, unless you know that the guy who is …
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Bacon Candy Necklace
The Bacon Candy Necklace is a geekier version of those necklaces that you used to wear as a child. Those, unfortunately, were not flavored very well, and often tasted like sawdust. This geeky necklace lets you eat the tiny rings, and each ring tastes like a delicious dose of bacon. Also, I would like to take a moment to look at the model shown in the picture. That picture is photoshopped sooooo much, it’s not even funny. Actually, it’s really funny. …
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Top 16 Geeky Bacon Gifts
Bacon is the pinnacle of geekiness, so I’ve decided to compile a list of the top 16 geeky bacon gifts of ALL TIME. I hope you enjoy the list – each one is either linked to a review that I’ve done or to a source from which you can buy the product. From frosting to candles – this list of geeky bacon goods has you covered, my friends! Covered in bacon grease! You’ll be lucky if you can get the stench off …
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Bacon Floss
Bacon Floss is the greatest invention since bacon itself! When you eat that deliciously fatty treat, bacon bits get stuck in your chompers, and then your hopes to woo the beautiful girl down the block are crushed. They’re also crushed because you found out that you’re just a farm boy, and she’s an Italian super model … who only speaks Italian and has no clue what you’re saying. So, while you’re learning ASL, you can clean your teeth of meat while …
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Bacon Air Freshener
The Bacon Air Freshener keeps that old woman smell from taking over the inside of your Honda Accord and completely destroying what manliness it has. You’ve agreed to let your wife drive it, but when it stops smelling like meat, things have gone too far. The Bacon Air Freshener isn’t just about odor, it’s about respect. The kind of respect that one man gives to another when he walks into a room and smells the fat of the pig roasting on …
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Bacon Lollipops
Mmmm… Bacon Lollipops! They look like normal lollipops when you unwrap them, but they taste like bacon when you shove them in your mouth! Just like the Pickle Pop – it looks like a normal pickle shaped lollipop, and when you unwrap it, you see that it is a pickled shaped lollipop! Artificially flavored to taste like bacon, these geeky lollipops are only $4 a piece – not bad, not bad at all. Very much unlike Michael Jackson – he was …
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Bacon Toothpicks
Bacon Toothpicks – don’t eat them. Despite the fact that they taste like bacon, they, alas, are made of deceased trees. But what better way to honor a deceased tree by dipping it in bacon solution and then putting it inside your mouth? The Bacon Toothpicks are better than normal toothpicks, but I wouldn’t recommend it if you’re trying to keep your breath from smelling meaty. Then, you should eat the Pickle Pop after every meal – it’s a veggie, so …
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Effervescent Bacon Drink Tabs
Nobody’s come up with the brilliant idea of bacon-flavored drinks yet, so we’ll just have to go out and buy a couple tons of Effervescent Bacon Drink Tabs and start a company ourselves. We’ll call it, “Bacon Flavored Liquids!” We can sell bacon flavored milk, bacon flavored soda, bacon flavored water, and even bacon flavored silver nitrate! Don’t drink that though, because then your insides will turn black and a part of you will die. Or all of you will die, …
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Sparkling Bacon Ornament
The Sparkling Bacon Ornament is an even better way to decorate your tree than our previously showcased Yoda Christmas Tree Topper. This geeky ornament features glittering meat and silver fat, and hangs at 4.25″ tall on your Christmas tree. Instead of hanging real bacon, which will smell and probably get your dog to knock over the entire thing in an attempt on the bacon’s life, the Bacon Ornament will show your geekiness without taking things too far. ”Things can never be taken …
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Bacon Flavored Hard Candy
Bacon Candy is a tin full of bacon flavored hard candy that appears to be a tin full of typical mints. (Of course, they only look like mints if you take them out of the tin that has “Bacon Candy” and a picture of a pig on it.) For $6, you get twelve pieces of this delicious smoky treat, and a Bacon Candy tin of bacon flavored hard candy would make a great gift for anyone who loves the crispy strips! If …
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