Pizza is generally something that isn’t that difficult to come by. There’s always a Pizza the Hut or a set of Domino’s somewhere around, and the delivery is usually pretty quick. (Unless you tell them to draw a dinosaur on the box in the special request section of an online order.) These six geeky pizzas, however, are homemade.
You won’t be able to buy them from Costco and stick them in the microwave, because nothing from Costco is small enough to fit in a microwave. Wow – this is an amazing deal! 10,000 tea bags for only $5,000! We’re going to need a bigger shopping cart.
1. Angry Birds Pizza Should Be Spicy
This Angry Birds pizza should be spicy, and it appears to be that way. What better way to express rage than by putting spice on your pizza? Scratch that – what better way to express rage than unscrewing the tops on the glass spice bottles so that people spill it all over their pizza? “Keying their car is a better way.” Yeah, but I already keyed your car. “You did what?” Relax, I’m kidding! Focus on the geeky pizzas.
2. Pizza Made With Fake Pizza Food
This may look like a pizza, but what you see isn’t always what you get. Thess geeky pizzas is made of other foods that are supposed to taste like pizza: Doritos, Pringles, Combos, Goldfish, and Tribe. This looks like a great idea for snack time, if you’re one of the parents who is too cheap to buy pizza for your kids and just makes bad peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.
3. Superman Pizza Flies If You Throw It
The Superman pizza, like most things, flies when you throw it. For whatever reason, the s-shaped pepperoni looks particularly delicious. “Stop jumping around to different topics.” You know, this one time, I had a lizard who liked to tell me not to change topics. Then I gave him away. You are the lizard in the analogy. *Face palm*
4. Green, Shriveled Pizza Is Not Weeks Old
This geeky pizza is unique in that it’s the only green and shriveled pizza that I haven’t found in a locker at the end of the school year. Yes, this meal is as fresh as can be, and it has the face of an old man (painted green) on it. Or, if you’re less creepy and more geeky, it is the face of Yoda. The face of wisdom. The face … of destiny. A Squirrel resembling Abraham Lincoln? Destiny at its finest.
5. Pokeball Pizza: Gotta Eat It All
I have to eat this entire pizza in order to fill the Pokedex that was entrusted to me by Professor Oak. Come to think of it – why isn’t it already almost filled? The guy’s been studying Pokemon for his entire life, and he has nothing to show for it. The Pokemon he gives you in the beginning are weak, and let’s be honest, he even has to ask what gender you are. Creep.
6. Pizza Balls Wrapped In Bacon?
I don’t even have the words to describe to you how delicious these geeky bacon-wrapped pizza balls would taste, but I can give you a few analogies. If I had to eat your domestic animals or these pizza balls, I would pick the pizza balls. “What?” The point isssss that these snacks are delicious and that your cat needs to be washed. “Excuse me?” Wash your cat, moron. The thing is scooting on my carpet and leaving poo stains. CAN I BE ANY MORE BLUNT?