Geeky Perfumes . . . Whether male or female, Khajiit or Wood Elf, you’re going to need to smell good for your significant other. And by good, I mean not like you have been sitting on the couch for three weeks and haven’t showered since you cleaned the Dorito dust out of your chest hair. (Thought that would be an interesting fragrance.)
These nine geeky perfumes and colognes are for ladies and gents respectively, unless you like a scent so much that you’re willing to give up your manliness for it, which very well may be the case. We’ve got bacon, we’ve got the Avengers, and we’ve got free money, so enjoy the list! “Free money?” I lied.
1. Paper Passion Perfume Smells Like Books
Not only is the Paper Passion Perfume a perfect example of alliteration, it also smells like books. I happen to be an avid book reader, though I tend to use my Nexus 7 as opposed to those old fashioned things which are best left for the weekend bonfire. Barefoot, wearin’ blue jeans, puttin’ on ma cowboy hat, enjoyin’ the wilderness. Too bad I’m allergic to nature and wear a beekeeping suit whenever I have to go get some more grapes from the Jewel Osco.
2. Apple Cologne Smells Like New Hardware
Apparently, new Apple products have a distinct smell, and that smell has been captured in this little itty bitty bottle. If you have the desire to smell like a MacBook, then this scent is for you! Knowing how “fanboy” these people are nowadays, I think you could probably get people camping outside of your house if you dumped the entire bottle on some flowers and screamed junk about the iPhone 5.
3. Play-Doh Geeky Cologne
Play-Doh has that iconic salty smell that makes you want to inhale the stuff (I used to when I was little), and it motivates people to create these awesome edible Play-Doh recipes. This geeky cologne is for men who want to seem sensitive by bringing childhood memories back to the mind of their hot date – quite romantic if you ask me, but I’m the same guy who just stayed up for 42 hours playing Diablo III.
4. Black Widow Geeky Perfume
Women, I can guarantee you that guys will love this geeky perfume. Why? There are two reasons: one, it’s Avengers related. Two, there’s a picture of Scarlet Johansson on it. BOOM! Automatic favorite amont the men. That and this pie made entirely of bacon and cheese.
5. Shirtless Captain Kirk Cologne
Not only does this geeky cologne smell like Captain Kirk, it smells like Captain Kirk – when he’s not wearing a shirt. Read: sweaty and covered in sweat from when he was making out with a Klingon. I gotta tell you – this guy gets around more than his adoring women-fans would care to admit. He’s Denny Crane.
6. Iron Man Geeky Cologne
Feeling like a superhero? Why not put on some Iron Man cologne. It may not make you taller, trim your eyebrows, or tuck in that pudge that gives you a vague resemblance to a pregnant woman, but you will smell like the one and only Tony Stark. What a guy – billionaire, philanthropist, and nature even gave him a distinctive scent!
7. Avengers Cologne
Do you fancy Iron Man?
The Gentle Green Giant that’s on the green bean packages The Hulk? Thor? Captain America? Regardless, you need this set of geeky Avengers colognes. I wouldn’t recommend getting the Hulk cologne, since it says “be angry,” and women generally don’t go on dates with dudes who smash plates every time their heart rate gets going.
8. Google Cologne
Google is the company that everyone who is anybody wants to work at, since they give employees free massages, and you can make good money writing code for them. You would probably have more fun sitting at home and writing code for Star Wars Modern Warfare Mods, but you won’t make any money.
9. Ultimate Geeky Perfumes? Bacon Perfume
Yeah, you read me right. If you put on this bacon perfume, ladies, you will automatically transform into that voluptuous half mermaid, half bacon, half human creature that you see on the bottle. The men will literally go nuts. No, really – one, you can’t be three halves, and two, if they see your legs turn into a slab of meat, they will have serious psychiatric damage. We need to make an antijoke that fits this situation…