18 Pokemon Vehicles That I Must Ride To Become The Very Best

Pokemon is one of the greatest things ever invented in terms of everything ever invented.  The combustion engine?  Not important.  Smallpox vaccinations?  Who cares!  Nothing can match that feeling when you watch your little buddy evolve for the first time into something even more powerful than before!  Also, that feeling when you’re trying to get to a PokeCenter and Geodudes keep showing up.  WHO EVEN MADE GEODUDES?

These eighteen Pokemon vehicles include cars, planes, and trains, so there should be no shortage of excitement!  There should also not be any shortage of vomit bags, since motion makes me queasy.  All motion.  That’s why I became a blogger.

Pokemon Cars

1.  VW Beetle That Looks Like Pikachu

pikachu car


This VW Beetle looks like our adorable friend Pikachu, so you know this thing flies.  And by flies, I mean zero to sixty in under fifteen seconds.  The Pokeball wheels are adorable, and I plant on never parking my car in a public place.  Where I come from, hubcaps are “public assets.”  “I don’t think the people stealing your hubcaps are going to want these.”  They see me rollin’…. They hatin’….

2.  Adorable Pikachu Car

cute pokemon car


This Pikachu car is a little bit cuter than the last one because of the eyes which serve as headlights.  My only question: do Japanese authorities overlook the fact that your headlights don’t work if your car looks like Pikachu?  I think YES.  I would – who isn’t going to notice a Pokemon car?  “Inanimate objects like trees and light poles.”

3.  Plusle Car Puts A Smile On My Face

plusle car japan


This Japanese Pokemon car looks like Plusle, which is a breath of fresh air from all of the Pikachu themed vehicles.  I would get the Plusle car so that I can use it as a mode of transportation to hit mailboxes.  “Why can’t you just be a moron in a regular car?”  Because I want to pretend like I’m swallowing them up and have superpowers when I wear my undies like a cap.

4.  Lugia, Now In The Form Of A Truck/Sedan Crossover

lugia car


I wanted to call this a Lugia *type of car here* but I was at a loss when trying to name this thing.  What even is it?  Looks like another one of those Chevy abominations, but one can’t be too sure.  Oh well – at least someone has given it new life by giving it a beautiful Lugia costume.  I put on a Princess Peach costume to give myself new life but I just got a formal letter from the neighborhood organization teling me that I couldn’t wear it anymore.  Fine – I might have been trying to scare my neighbor into moving somewhere else, but I did look beautiful, if you think a gorilla in a dress is beautiful.

5.  Turtwig Pokemon Car

turtwig car


Turtwig is great and all, but if you were going to make a Pokemon car, be honest with yourself.  You would come to me for advice, and then I would do two things.  One, call you a moron.  Two, give you my wonderful ideas which are much better than yours.  First idea: Groudon car made from a Hummer that shoots flames.  Second idea: Gyarados firetruck.  Third idea: new limited edition Pikachu tazer for the NYPD.

 6.  Piplup Car Great For Charming Women

pokemon car


I like this particular heading because it is ambiguous.  This car is great for women who are charming, but it is also great for charming all types of women.  Plus, it looks like Piplup and has a beak great for bumping people who are texting and driving.  An eye for an eye is what I say, as long as both of the eyes are coming from you.

7.  Pokemon Card Car

pokemon vehicle


When I tell you that this car is made entirely of pokemon cards, you should know that I am a liar with flaming plants.  This car is covered with Pokemon cars, but underneath all of this greatness, its just an average car.  Main takeaway: you can be something greater than yourself if you glue Pokemon cards to you naked body.  (If you do, let me know so I can feature you on the site as biggest moron ever most awesome geek alive.)

8.  Hummer Painted With Powerful Pokemon

pokemon car


Finally, a man’s Pokemon vehicle.  No more starter Pokemon – we’ve got Rayquaza, Kyoger, Groudon, Blaziken, and Swampert on this one.  This is the perfect car for jumping off of hills, rolling over sand dunes, and doing other stupid manly stuff.

9.  Pikachu Bus!

pikachu car


What’s better than a Pikachu car?  A Pikachu bus, of course.  But before I ride it, me and you are going to take a hammer to that master ball so we can go catch us some of the rarest creatures out there.  …  Ladies.  They seem to elude me no matter how many times I save and reload!

10.  Chimchar Car – It Rhymes

pokemon vehicle


Here’s another one of those awesome Pokemon cars with the Pokeball wheels, but this one resembles Chimchar!  What a cute little thing OH MY HAIR IS ON FIRE SOMEBODY HELP

Pokemon Planes

11.  Double Decker Pokemon Plane

pokemon plane


Not only is this a cool plane in its own right (the front end has two floors) but it is also painted with all of your favorite cute Pokemon!  I could have done without the flowers at the nose of the plane, but you can’t always get what you want, right?  WRONG.  GET THE WHITE-OUT.

12.  Pokemon Plane Features Togepi

pokemon plane


Though it looks like an infant, I will vouch for the power of Togepi until the day I die.  Small, but powerful.  Togepi is also gifted with the element of surprise, as well as a spiky skull.

13.  Emogirl2010 Snapped An Awesome Picture

pokemon plane


Thanks to Emogirl2010, who got a great picture of this plane for me!  Well, not specifically for me, but I represent the enjoyment of the internet.  I am Al Gore.  (Please don’t leave annoying comments defending Al Gore and his role in the internet, because I won’t approve them.  I may approve annoying comments making fun of Al Gore and his role in the internet.)

Pokemon Trains

14.  Pokemon Winking On A Train

pokemon train


Meowth on a Pokemon train isn’t cute enough for you?  How about a winking Meowth?  How about this three legged cat I found on the street?  “IT’S CUTE LEMME HOLD IT”

15.  Pokemon Movie Promo On a Train

pokemon train


This Pokemon train was a promo ad for the 2009 Pokemon movie featuring Arceus and those other scary dragon things.  (Yes, the ones that kill you on Super Smash Bros. Brawl with their beams of evil.)

16.  Ash Ketchum On a Train

pokemon train


This is Ash Ketchum on the side of a train.  Not to be confused with the ash ketchup I had on my hot dog earlier, which had chunks of black substance in it.  Ah, I love exotic foods!  Especially the ones that give me stomach poisoning!

17.  Pokemon Train With Giratina

pokemon train


This Pokemon train has Giratina painted on its side.  Just a side note: Giratina looks like those earwigs that I find in my shower every morning, and I would bet money that this is where the designer got some of his inspiration.  If his home insulation is anything like mine, he had a lot of inspiration.

18.  Blue and Red Pokemon Train

japanese pokemon train


No lie: I’m pretty sure I rode one of these trains in Japan.  It wasn’t painted with Pokemon, but I have been here.  See!  I AM A WORLD TRAVELER!  HAHA TAKE THAT!  “When’s the last time you left your house?”  I leave my house every day and travel the world through my books!  “That doesn’t count.”   A couple of weeks ago when I bought groceries.