10 Geeky Drinks: A Dwarf, a Wizard and an Elf Walk Into a Bar…

Let’s be honest, when the question of the ultimate geeky drinks is raised, the (stereo)typical answer has got to be Mountain Dew. Well, I’m from Canada and our non-caffeinated version is kinda useless, so in its stead I offer a list of alternatives from popular franchises, and my slightly odd pick for the ultimate geeky drink.

10: Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster – The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy


pan galactic gargle blaster geeky drinks


It’s like having your brain smashed out by a slice of lemon wrapped around a large gold brick. The Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster (PGGB) perfectly illustrates the difference between the Guide and the Encyclopedia Galactica (which is much the same difference as that between Wikipedia and Uncyclopedia) and also seamlessly introduces Zaphod Beeblebrox long before he becomes relevant to the story.


9: Energy – Tron


geeky drinks


Like the PGGB, Energy isn’t possible to fake. Energy drinks do a fine job as substitution but you can’t pass the caffeinated sugar running through your system to another program in need.  It exemplifies the difference between the real world and the world of Tron while tying the two together. In the digital age, isn’t it nice to know that digital things also need a little boost?


8: Ginger Ale (in a champagne flute) – Batman


geeky drinks


When you truly want to impress and disgust everyone in the room with your wanton playboy ways but must be ready at a moment’s notice to stop a madman’s plot, Bruce Wayne has the answer.   While Batman’s secret to staying in fighting form may be genius, it really is more of a plot device than a plot point so it’s just barely behind…


7: Scotch on the Rocks – Iron Man


geeky drinks


For the true genius, it’s both a curse and a blessing in disguise. While Tony Stark drank himself to near ruin in Iron Man 2, if it weren’t for his known predilection for mixing himself a drink, his meeting with Loki in Stark Tower (and don’t cry “spoilers!” when it’s in all the trailers) might not have gone quite so smoothly.


6: Martini, Shaken Not Stirred – 007


geeky drinks


Bruce Wayne may mask his badassness with a playboy persona but James Bond has no problems with hunting down villains after a vodka martini. And unlike Stark, Bond doesn’t have a problem walking away from the bar.

But Bond’s martini is also controversial; experts stick by stirring as the best mixing method and the original martini was made with gin.


5: King of Geeky Drinks Romulan Ale – Star Trek


romulan ale geeky drinks


Another off-planet only drink, Romulan ale isn’t featured in the 2009 Star Trek movie, but that’s understandable considering the villains. It still seems more true to the series than a Cardasian Sunrise, though, and its Earth-available versions (energy drink and Guatemalan beer) are both filled with enough blue dye to turn you into a green-blooded hobgoblin.
BUY Romulan Ale Energy Drink


4: Ent-Draught – Lord of the Rings


geeky drinks


A drink brewed from special spring water that can make you healthier, awake, full and taller. Who doesn’t want that?

Granted, spring water IRL isn’t exactly going to fill you up, but if you’re escaping orcs and run into a species of tree-like people, being hungry is probably the least of your worries.

3: Butterbeer – Harry Potter


geeky drinks


While it’s described in the books as having a mild alcohol content, so does traditionally brewed root-beer. The more important aspects are the buttery taste and the cold and hot variety, and the muggle versions are delicious!

A drink that’s perfectly enjoyable both on the beach and at Christmas time has to be great. And it’s always appropriate while rereading or re-watching the world of wizards and wishing we too had been invited to Hogwarts.

2: Blue Milk – Star Wars



There’s something about milk that is just so wholesome, even if it is blue and comes from a bantha. Perhaps we’d have known Luke’s inherited awesomeness sooner if his order in the Cantina had been audible. As it was, the farm-boy who dreamed of adventure had to wait quite a while to throw off the childishness that comes from whining about power converters while drinking his milk.

1: Tea – Everywhere



It may seem the most mundane drink in the galaxy, but tea just creeps into science fiction and fantasy as often as it can.
The Tenth Doctor wouldn’t have been conscious in time to save Earth if Rose hadn’t brought him a good cuppa tea in the Doctor Who Christmas Special. Alice was distracted in her search for the way home by the mad tea party in the books but in the Tim Burton film if not for having tea with the Hatter how would she have picked up the vorpal sword?

And on the Enterprise D, hundreds of years from now, Captain Picard orders tea, Earl Grey, hot, as often as he engages, and he won’t even be English!

This awesome guest post was written by Ange Gordon, a huge geek who blogs at Contrary to Popular Belief.