Reading books is great and all, but these 14 geeky bookends reinforce the truth that books are only good for displaying in your home, and that reading them is pointless. Why? Because I’m cheap and just bought a bunch of books with no print in them to create the illusion of me being extremely erudite. See how I used my incredible vernacular there? It’s called internet access, and Thesaurus dot com for the win. For the conquest. For the triumph. Okay, so it’s not perfect, but it works fairly well. Check out these geeky bookends, and inject your books with a dose of geek so you don’t seem too into the Hunger Games series.
Han Solo and Greedo Star Wars Bookends
Who shot first? The Han Solo and Greedo Star Wars Bookends prove that nobody killed anybody, because there was a rather obnoxious wall of books between them that really impeded their ability to injure each other. It also made it more difficult for Han to talk to Greedo in that incredibly smug and would-get-you-slapped-by-my-gramma tone that he always seems to use. Also, Jar-Jar Binks should have been completely cut out of the first movie.
Geeky Circuit Board Bookends
The Circuit Board Bookends, in addition to being awesome, are actually good for the environment, since they’re made almost entirely from recycled circuit boards. These would be great for any geeky home, but are difficult to find online, since the originals were handmade by a professional craftsman.
Star Wars Trash Compactor Geeky Bookends
The Star Wars Trash Compactor Bookends depict the crew of our favorite heroes taking out their deeply harbored wrath on a set of innocent DVD’s. Nobody wants to be smashed in a garbage compactor, Chewbacca – play nice. No – no choking! Bad!
The GEEK Bookends spell out your style for those who are bad taking more subtle hints. Large 8-Bit Wreath on your front door? They say nothing. Carpet with pictures of Mario on it? Still, they are ignorant. New solution: get friends who are more observant.
Wooden Portal Bookends
These Wooden Portal Bookends are awesome, and you knew that this idea was coming. Or, while you were looking at the previous examples of geeky bookends, you were thinking how much people would love you if you were the first to come up with the idea of Portal 2 bookends. Everyone’s love has already been given away. Sign up with your e-mail if you would like to be notified when love’s schedule opens up.
Metal Portal Bookends
The Metal Portal Bookends are way better than the wooden version, if you ask me. So much more crisp, and less like someone took a chainsaw to a fallen tree. “How else were they supposed to make wooden bookends?” By using wood. *Facepalm*
Geeky Star Wars Lightsaber Bookends
The Star Wars Lightsaber Bookends are awesome, but I think that somebody went a little overboard with the strange yellow foam coming from the melting metal. I’ve seen metal be destroyed by lightsabers many a time, and I’ve never seen it look quite like that, but these geeky bookends were still worth a mention.
Star Wars Jabba’s Palace Bookends
The Star Wars Jabba’s Palace Bookends are awesome – the detail is extraordinary! The still life of fruit on the table is exactly the kind of thing that Jabba likes to stencil with his drawing pencils in between killing bounty hunters. These bookends are great for any Star Wars lover.
Star Wars Bookends
The Star Wars Bookends are simple, but awesome. The Star Wars iconic lettering serves well as a pair of bookends – good, simple design puts a smile on my face. I just hope that they’re not hollow – that would really make me angry. Just like when I find out that my girlfriend’s head is hollow – that makes me angry. I’m going to get some cookies and eat them until I feel better.
Spider-Man Villain Bookends
The Spider-Man Villain Bookends feature that guy with the huge sandy arms and the lead singer of KISS dressed in black spandex. Yes, I love being factually accurate. Abraham Lincoln once said, “anyone who feels that Batman is not the coolest superhero is obviously not honest enough to cut down trees and then admit that they did while watching a play in Ford’s Theater.” Or something like that, anyway. I post online about mustaches – do I seem like a scholarly guy?
Fish Bowl Bookends
These Fish Bowl Bookends are super geeky, and can sustain life – much unlike some of my favorite planets. Venus – that ball of green gas. Mars – that giant red rock with smaller red rocks on it. Uranus – *Chuckle* “That’s not how the astronomers pronounce it.” Stop pretending to be so high-scale – you know you love low-brow comedy.
Geeky Balloon Animal Bookends
These Balloon Animal Bookends are pretty amazing. In addition to looking like dogs made from balloons, they can support your books in two different ways – with their noses or with the sides of their bodies. Or lying down on their sides, but that’s not even fun. Unlike Pump It Up – that place makes me happy inside. “You’re like forty years old.” I make my son have his birthday parties there.
Though the name of the Smurfs was slandered in their absolutely horrifying feature film, they were good back in the day, and it’s good to keep the best memories of them in the forefronts of our minds by remembering the old-fashioned little blue guys that made us laugh and cry. The Smurf Bookends do just that. And a Justin Lee Collins book? Really? Who even owns these things?
TARDIS Meets Tentacle Monster Doctor Who Bookends
What could be better than bookends that bring together TARDIS and a Tentacle Monster? Nothing. That is why I decided to end this list post with said bookends – you can’t top this. Maybe if you had two tentacle monsters, but that would be pushing the boundaries of reality.