The Orange Flavored Chicken Sucker looks like a delicious, juicy piece of poultry, but it tastes like a freshly peeled tangerine!  Who woulda thunk it!  This geeky product is sure to earn you some strange looks, but you’ll also get the satisfaction of being the coolest kid on the block!  That’s right – the coolest kid on the block!  I don’t see any of these other haters and posers sucking on a giant piece of chicken that tastes like oranges, do you?  ”Hey – let’s go tell that kid we’re cooler than him!”  No – that child looks very scary, and we’re going to walk the other way.  Being cool doesn’t mean that we can’t be shoved into trash cans.  *Walk away from the scary child wearing a dog collar*

The Chicken Sucker is a scrumptious lollipop for those of the geeky variety.  Why is it great?  It looks like a chicken, you moron.  Also, it’s only $3!  What a deal!  Just like I bought that Rolex from the nice man in Jamaica for only $15!  They really do have some great deals outside of the country these days.  *Facepalm*

If you love the Chicken Sucker for who he really is, you’ll also have an affection for the Fish Head Lollipop That Tastes Like Lemons.

 

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