The Bigfoot Welcome Mat has kind of a dual meaning – is it a geeky way to welcome your friends inside, or is it the perfect tool to attract the legendary Bigfoot into your home?  ”Hey man, don’t hate.”  Shaq, you have some huge feet, but we’re not talking about you.  We’re talking about the beast that lives in the jungle.  ”Hey, I’m a beast, but I do NOT live in a jungle!”  *Facepalm*  But you do swear on live TV.  ”That is true.”  How did you get here?  I don’t even like basketball.  ”I took the subway.”  That stops at my house?  ”Yeah, it does.  Pretty close, anyways.”

The Bigfoot Welcome Mat is $15, and puts a giant foot down in front of your door that reminds people to wipe the mud off of their shoes before they step onto your white shag carpet and start dancing to the Bee Gee’s.  That time machine I told you about?  It works.  But before I stop the JFK assassination, I wanted to go back to the seventies and enjoy myself for a couple of years.

If you like the Bigfoot Welcome Mat, you’ll also enjoy the Mustache Snow Globe.

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