The Bacon Tie is a wonderful piece of geeky fashion that would be great for any meat buff.  Are you a man?  Do you have what it takes to look lean in a fatty meat?  If you’ve attained that level of manhood already, then you’re ready for the next step… the Bacon Necktie.

This polyester creation is great for very important business meetings when you have to make a good impression.  (Not really, unless you know that the guy who is interviewing you is geeky.  And not a vegetarian.)  You’d probably have a better chance if you dressed up like broccoli or something – at least nobody can get offended.

Nowadays, people get offended at everything.  ”That’s offensive – I’m going to censor you.”  Well I’m going to censor your face so people stop dropping dead when they look at it.  ”WHY ARE YOU SO MEAN?”  I’m being completely serious – THERE IS NO ONE IN THE OFFICE EXCEPT ME WHO IS ALIVE.  And that’s because, apparently, I’m the only citizen who recognizes national wear a bag on your head day.  Strange, isn’t it?

Bacon Necktie – Where to Buy

The Bacon Tie is available online from BaronBob for $18, not a bad price for such a sharp-looking tie!  It actually appears to be kind of squishy, but you catch my drift right into the shrubs in front of your house because the road was icy.  NO ONE LIKED YOUR SHRUBS ANYWAY.  ”I’m pressing charges.”

Update: Use the coupon code LOVEBARON to get 15% off the Bacon Tie and everything else you order!

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