The Zombie Survival Can Energy Drink gives you that last boost of super energy that you need to run ahead of the horde of zombies.  Tongues lashing out at your feet, rogue zombies hurling balls of ice cream, goth zombies piercing their faces – things can get pretty tough.  Your survivor friends need you to be awake when you keep watch, and that’s why they bought you the Zombie Survival Can Energy Drink.  Also, you’re holding a loaded shotgun with the safety off, so it’s only right that you be at full attention.  It’s too late for your left foot, but two wrongs don’t make a new left foot.  Only stem cell research can do that, and we don’t fund that kind of thing in America since it comes from aborted fetuses.  It’s okay to kill babies, but not to use stem cells from those babies to help people regain THE ABILITY TO MOVE.

The Zombie Survival Can is only $3, and you get a 250 ml can of the stuff, which has been pumped with caffeine and delicious taste.  The only problem: I can’t drink this geeky energy drink through my gas mask!  What, you think that zombies cover their mouths when they cough?  I can’t get sick while I’m fighting off the undead – precautions need to be taken.  *Blasts a zombie and promptly uses hand sanitizer*

If you liked the Zombie Survival Can Energy Drink, I’d bet the left side of my body that you would get a tingle tingle from the Pac-Man Power Up Energy Drink and the Blood Energy Drink.

 

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