The Original Football Man Candle is for when the bros are coming over – and not the ones that you met at the WE THINK SAMUS IS SEXY convention.  (Man, that’s an awesome convention, isn’t it?  They basically invented Zero Suit Samus at one of those.)  Some guys from work want to come over and watch large men run with a ball until they get rocked to the core by other large men (Americans enjoy this) and listen to guys in a booth describe why that man was just laid out by the other man.  (Apparently it involves a large amount of tact and strategy.)  No, The Original Football Man Candle won’t smell like real football – sweaty jock straps, blood, and body odor – it will smell like dirt and leather.  The candle’s reviews claim that it is a pleasant smell, so I wouldn’t be too worried about ruining your home’s aroma.

The Original Football Man Candle is only $12 and will burn for over 30 hours.  That will probably last you an entire season of football, so it’s not a bad deal.  A bad deal would be that time I sold my pancreas for a couple of bags of Buttered Popcorn Jelly Beans.

 

BUY The Original Football Man Candle