The Mustachifier Baby Pacifier gets the young ones going early.  Their proud dad and embarrassed mom both sport astonishingly thick upper-lip facial hair, so why not teach the kid early about what’s important in life?  And, thank God these hypothetical parents didn’t have a girl – how would you like to be known as the mom who passed on the incredible mustache to her female offspring.  Why do you think the bearded lady doesn’t have any kids?  ”Because nobody wants to marry her – she’s got a beard, man.”  You make a good point there, Rob.  Always so practical.  I’m still not letting you borrow my Munchstache Cookie Cutters though.

The Mustachifier Baby Pacifier only has one thing wrong with it (other than the fact that it gives infants mustaches) – it won’t be available until early March of this year.  Don’t fret!  For $10, the price of the Mustachifier, you can pre-order it and get it to your house and into your baby’s spit-filled gummer before the neighbors get a chance to one-up you.

If you’re tired of getting one-upped by those filthy neighbors the Flanders, check out the CSS For Babies Book and the Introductory Calculus for Infants Book.

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