The Lip Lolly Lollipop is a pair of rather wrinkly lips that are waiting to be kissed.  Or, if you have mean friends, they’re waiting to kiss the top of your head and force you to shave a patch of your hair to get it off.  This strawberry flavored lollipop represents the disappearing freedom of speech – for with no lips, you cannot speak.  Or, perhaps, it’s just another option for Valentine’s Day presents for that special special someone!  Special special special!  Someone who you love to hang out with!  And talk to!  And watch type!  Who is that someone, Laura?  ”I’m not quite catching on.”  Maybe your valentine is someone who is sitting next to you?  And writes about weird things?  Like lollipops?  ”Can I ask the audience?  Ummm…”  IT’S ME YOU IDIOT!  You know what, I don’t even like you anymore.  Go take a class in thinking – it would benefit you by giving you the ABILITY TO THINK.  Some people!  I’ll just have to meet a nice girl at the next chess club meeting.

The Lip Lolly Lollipop is only $2.50, and is a delightful treat for this year’s day of love and flying infants who gun people down with arrows.  That was always my favorite part of the holiday: when you see someone get shot down by the flying infant.  It’s a rare occasion, but I’m sure you could find it on YouTube.

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