The only thing bad about the Hershey’s Syrup Scented Candle: you’ll need to turn off you bacon candle to smell it.  The delicious (no) chocolate scented candle is “hand poured” and is GENUINE CHOCOLATE FLAVOR.  Let me let you in on a little something… it doesn’t taste like chocolate – it tastes like hot wax.  So, despite the fact that you may be dumb enough to believe the writing on your new geeky product, take my advice and keep the wax in the candle and your snake in its cage.  No, really – your snake is starting to bother me, and it looks really hungry.  You feed your snake pig fetuses?  Seriously?  You’re asking to get constricted, my friend.  *30 foot long boa slithers into a dark room to eat pig fetuses*

The Hershey’s Syrup Scented Candle is only $12, and doesn’t come with any huge snakes that will eat you if they mistake you for a pig fetus.  ”What are you implying, tough guy?  That I look like a pig fetus?”  N-n-n-o, there’s absolutely no resemblance there, sir.  ”CALL ME PIG FETUS… ONE MORE TIME!”  He’s an angry pig fetus.  *Gets absolutely DESTROYED by the midget who looks like a pig fetus*

 

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