Bacon Toothpicks – don’t eat them.  Despite the fact that they taste like bacon, they, alas, are made of deceased trees.  But what better way to honor a deceased tree by dipping it in bacon solution and then putting it inside your mouth?  The Bacon Toothpicks are better than normal toothpicks, but I wouldn’t recommend it if you’re trying to keep your breath from smelling meaty.  Then, you should eat the Pickle Pop after every meal – it’s a veggie, so it must be good for you!  Just like those mysterious orange berries I found in my backyard!  Those may make your nose turn green and shrivel up, but they taste like oranges!  ”So that’s why you’re talking so funny!”

The Bacon Toothpicks are only $2.45 a box, and there are 80 toothpicks in a tin.  (The tin itself is worth a couple of bucks to me – it’s got a pig on it!  And he’s wearing a suit!  How ’bout that, huh?  It seems that he also has some kind of walking impediment from when he fought in the Vietnam War.)  Don’t just eat bacon – use bacon to clean the bacon off of your pearly yellows that have black holes in them because you eat too much bacon.

 

BUY Bacon Toothpicks