The Bacon Air Freshener keeps that old woman smell from taking over the inside of your Honda Accord and completely destroying what manliness it has.  You’ve agreed to let your wife drive it, but when it stops smelling like meat, things have gone too far.

The Bacon Air Freshener isn’t just about odor, it’s about respect.  The kind of respect that one man gives to another when he walks into a room and smells the fat of the pig roasting on a chunk of meat.  This is about the respect that guys like Willem Defoe get when they walk into a room.  (We can’t ever be as cool as that guy so we’ll just have to stick with the bacon air freshener.)

The Bacon Air Freshener is a mere $2, so I don’t know why you’re hesitating!  ”I’m not hesitating, I’m just old and it takes me a little while to get  going, young man!”  This is the LAST TIME I EVER GIVE A PRODUCT PITCH AT HICKORY ACRES!  THE LAST TIME!  *Storms off, taking some prune dessert with him*

 

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