Monthly Archive for: ‘December, 2011’
Look Taller Shoe Lifts
Let this be known: the Look Taller Shoe Lifts do make you taller, but they are meant to be a gag gift. A man of shorter stature would really appreciate a couple of Look Taller Shoe Lifts, but they’d have to punch you to maintain their tough outer shell and preserve their macho-ness. They’re like rocks on the outside, but jelly on the inside. Once you break that barrier, they just become a puddle of goo, and nobody likes to clean …
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Futurama Monopoly
Play your favorite game – now with the stupid humor of Futurama! The Futurama Monopoly game still takes hours and hours to lose to your gramma, but now you can have even more fun than you usually don’t. The Futurama Monopoly game is $40, a little bit more expensive than your average Monopoly set, but how could you beat the picture of Bender with a mustache in the middle? Plus the red Chulhu-looking guy with crab hands and the cyclops hottie. …
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Lazer Shirt Interactive Tee
Your t-shirts are ugly, let’s face it. If I see the shirt with the morales and the beating one more time, I am going to beat your morale until it can’t continue the beatings because it is unconscious. Comprende? Merry Christmas – I bought you the Lazer Shirt Interactive Tee! Which you should appreciate, because I spent $25 on it, and it’s the thought how much money I spent that counts. Using the included mini UV (ultraviolet) light, you can draw …
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3D Stitch Movable Ear Flip Hard iPhone Case
You’re at Disney World, tradin’ it up with your super expensive Stitch pins, when you get a call from your gramma. You take out your iPhone 4 and realize that it is painfully bland, and has not been Disney-fied. BOOM! SHAM-WOW the 3D Stitch Movable Ear Flip Hard iPhone Case is here to save the day! Now, your iPhone looks like the creepy, crawly, and adorable experiment 626, and is protected from the drops that it will inevitable suffer, you grubby-handed …
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Inflatable Tentacle Arm
You know what would make you look even cooler than you do now? A tentacle arm. Since the best scientists in the world are still working on a moving prosthetic tentacle, the Inflatable Tentacle Arm will have to do. Do you see the pirate in the above picture? That costume is trash – utter trash. But, why did he get with all of the ladies at this year’s Halloween party? ”The parrot?” No – the Inflatable Tentacle Arm! ”I’m pretty sure …
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SPAM Mints
Unfortunately, the SPAM Mints are not actually SPAM flavored. (For normal people, this is a good thing. You can deduce from these two pieces of information that I am not normal.) The SPAM Mints come in this awesome collectible tin, and are actually cinnamon-flavored. There are 50 mints in the SPAM tin, and while they’re not flavored like our favorite processed meat, they are shaped like our favorite processed meat. For $4, you get all of these delicious mints that make …
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Galaxy’s Best Father Bobble-Head
Your father raised you to be the man that you became… show him that you love him with this Galaxy’s Best Father Bobble-Head. He may have cut off your arm with a lightsaber, but don’t you remember when he threw Emperor Palpatine down that giant abyss? He may be the most evil man in the universe, but he’s your dad, and he’s expecting to get something for Christmas, and he’ll be angry if he doesn’t. Unless you want your trachea to …
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H2O Instant Water Candle Kit
The H2O Instant Water Candle Kit is a great way to quickly and easily make your own candle. For $4, you get 3 floaters, 18 wicks, and 20 grams of water coloring that is available in blue, green, or red. First, you need to get a glass, vase, or something of that sort. Next, fill it 3/4 full with water. Now add the included food coloring to the water to make it colorful, and put in anything else that you want. …
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