The Mustache Lollipop is a cola-flavored treat that doubles as a disguise.  Just hold it up over your upper lip, and the Mustache Lollipop becomes a well-groomed piece of facial hair.  Hold it over your unibrow, and you have an even bigger unibrow than you had before.  Then, when you get tired of looking like a moron, you can give it a lick and enjoy the wonderful cola flavor that has been instilled within the mustache.

All of this, for only $3 at Baron Bob.  This is a better deal than the $5 footlong, folks.  It may not be a foot long, but it’s a mustache, so nobody really cares.

Your kid is complaining about terrible after school snacks?  The Mustache Lollipop is for you.  Your annoying spouse is complaining about terrible after work snacks?  You will need the Pickle Pop, since it’s gross and is the perfect way to get back at a nagging spouse.  NAG NAG NAG NAG NAG NAG NAG *Gets hit in the face by a Pickle Pop*

 

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