Since there are a ton of people living on the moon (0) and a huge pizza-loving alien population (???), Dominos has decided to build a store on the moon.  News flash: nobody can buy pizza on the moon because nobody lives on the moon.  And, even if they did, nobody would buy Dominos anyway, because (in my humble opinion) it’s mediocre pizza.  Also, the moon isn’t actually made of cheese, so it won’t be an endless source of raw materials for your pizza.  The total cost of their insanity not including psychiatric counseling – 22 billion U.S. dollars.

Dominos Store On The Moon Official Comment:

 

“We started thinking about this project last year, although we have not yet determined when the restaurant might open,” spokesman Tomohide Matsunaga told the newspaper.

The restaurant chain estimated that the cost of turning the stunt into reality would be about ¥1.67 trillion ($21.8 billion).

“In the future, we anticipate there will be many people living on the moon — astronauts who are working there and, in the future, citizens of the moon,” Matsunaga added.

 

It doesn’t matter when the restaurant opens, because there will be nobody to buy the pizza.  Also, how much are you going to have to pay those workers to live on the moon for the rest of their lives?  ”Why can’t they just rocket back to earth whenever they want?”  Look – if Dominos is stupid enough to waste 22 billion dollars getting that junk up there, I’m pretty sure they’re not stupid enough to waste another 22 billion on the return trip.  And I know that Dominos wouldn’t have the audacity to use robots on their moon store, because I saw a commercial where they had some people in a house that was actually inside of a Domino’s store.  Like Inception, except less confusing, and with more pizza.

 

 

So, this whole shenanigan about Domino’s building a store on the moon brings up the question: does any country own the moon?  This is going to be colonization of the New World all over again: a heck of a lot of dead natives, a lack of gold, the French losing in most major military encounters, and space rockets.  The native alien races will be devastated by our building of fatty restaurants and Domino’s-themed launch pads, and will fight back.  Surely, America’s fat people will crush them with their will to survive and conquer weight.  Oooor China will just fly up in some mega-rocket with 1.3 billion people armed with submachine guns and cans of poisonous heavy metals.  I smell disaster.  Also, wings, since I got some right here.  They’re Domino’s, actually.  I said their pizza was mediocre, but I never said their BBQ wings weren’t more amazing than Herman Cain, who’s a boss.  *takes a bite.*  Tastes like American tradition.

BUY Dominos Pizza Collectibles

Via: Geekologie, who claims that the store is being built on the moon because everyone on earth is tired of Domino’s.

Further Reading:  Geeky Pokemon Wedding Cake