Have you ever looked at a gadget that just looked really REALLY cool and said to yourself “OMG, this looks SO COOL!…. What does it do?” and then found out that it doesn’t do much at all? I do this. I do this all the time. My local computer shop carries about 100 different USB powered devices that are pretty much useless; I’ll share a few of my favorites with you in this article. However, useless gadgets are not something new. People have been inventing useless stuff since… well, since forever. Here are my top five favorite useless, but cool, gadgets from recently and in the past.
The Plow/Gun – A Truly Useless Gadgets
This genius invention was actually patented way back in ’62… 1862 that is. This amazing invention served as a functional farming tool and a deadly weapon. Its size was meant to stabilize the weapon and keep it steady when you fired the artillery. I don’t know about you, but if I knew this was around, I wouldn’t dare mess around with the farmer’s daughter!
The Scream Muffler
Have you ever just felt like screaming your head off, but you were in a place where doing such a thing would be completely inappropriate? Haven’t we all? This is why Frank Figone invented the “Scream Muffler” in 1989. This gadget allows you to release all that pent up rage and frustration… silently. This amazing feat is made possible by a bit of sound absorbing foam at the bottom of the scream catcher’s design. But, how will you know that you are screaming if you can’t hear it, I ask?? This problem is solved by a sound detecting microphone in the device that lights up a meter display to give you an accurate visual picture of how intense your scream really was. Genius, I say!
This. Is. Awesome! Imagine: having your very own USB powered doomsday device…. Right on your work desk! This truly incredible piece of engineering takes a little skill to operate, which is good, because you only want to use it if you plan on being responsible for the extinction of the entire human race. Step One: Press the first button. Step Two: Press the second button. Step Three: Press the third, and final, button and brace yourself for….a honk? Hmmm. Not quite what I was hoping for… but at least it doubles as a really cool looking USB hub, which makes it not quite as useless as the…
USB Pet Rock
We all had pet rocks when we were kids right? Okay… it was just me. That adorable, inanimate object quickly became one of my most trusted friends. But, you can’t just bring a pet rock to work – all your coworkers would laugh you to death. No, this is a technologically advanced world we live in. The solution – The USB Pet Rock! No, longer will your office mates mock your low-tech friend. No, now you can plug your pet rock right into your laptop and have your coworkers stare in envy as Rocko 2.0 does… Just what a pet rock ought to do – absolutely NOTHING!
Retro Cellphone Handset
And here’s one that brings together old and new in one glorious, useless invention.
The problem: Increasingly slim, easy to use, and modern looking cellphones and hands-free devices have got you longing for the romance and style of the past.
The solution: A 1950’s style handset that you can plug into your cellphone (probably many times smaller than the handset) so that you can talk in retro style!
I actually love the idea of this invention. It would serve no practical use, but imagine walking down the street talking on your large ‘50’s style handset, or handing the phone to your friend on the bus! Storage may be a problem, but carrying a purse (or a “murse” if you like) just to carry your handset may be worth it just for the odd stares you might get.
These are just a few of the incredibly cool, useless gadgets out there. There are many more out there, and many, many more useless gadgets waiting to be invented! Do you have an idea for a cool useless gadget? Who knows? Your idea may make you millions – or it could end up on a list like this. Either way, it’ll be fun!
Stacey Cavalari holds a B.A in Literature and currently writes for AccessRx.com, an online facilitator for consumers who buy Viagra online and other safe FDA-approved medications such as Levitra. Stacey uses her research scientist skills to cover and uncover big pharma news she shares on the AccessRx Blog.
If you’re looking for more articles on useless gadgets, check out the $8 Million History Edition iPad 2!