I’m not going to get into the probes and scientific stuff that goes on when one is abducted. I’m sure our friends have every reason to do so. They want to examine our reproductive and elimination systems and – why not? The thing that gets to me, is that I’ve never been grabbed in the middle of the night in a foggy field in the middle of Iowa and been examined by three fingered floating creatures – not even once. Is there something wrong with me?

I have a theory. I think the people that actually do get abducted, fit in the class of being highly abductable. They are probably from a special race already put here on this earth billions of years ago and left crying in a basket at the foot of a pyramid. Being raised and adopted by us earthlings, they inter-bred and took upon themselves the culture and habits of their environment. If green skin and pointy eared, they may have been left crying a bit longer. But, I would have saved one regardless.

So, it seems in the end, that being truly abductable is more of a ‘class’ thing. Not available to us common people, but reserved for a select few of the ‘blue bloods’. I find this unfair. It’s like not being invited to the school prom because you have a retainer or your bones are too big, or if your dad works at the local fast food joint and just can’t seem to make shift leader after 17 years of trying. Update: He just made shift leader!

Perhaps there should be some legislation to control abductability and make sure it is available to us all. I think the current system is unfair and slanted towards those with partial alien blood. We were all born with the strengths and weaknesses given to us and everyone should get a fair and equal chance. I propose a solution to a problem that has probably been going on for billions of years. We should create a registry for all of those that wish to be abducted – first come, first served. When the next aliens arrive, we contact the first person on the list and drop them in a field, in the Midwest, at night.

Those that cannot be reached will have to go to the end of the line. After all, this process should be respectable and professional. We’ll lose all credibility if we don’t hold to certain rules and regulations. You may call this ingenious or just a fantastic idea. I humbly call it common sense. Now, it is up to us earthlings who truly care, to make it so.