20 Foot Triceratops Robot For Sale

There is a 20 foot triceratops robot for sale, and it’s only $350,000!  That means I’ll only have to live my life… 12 times before I can buy it!  (I hope it doesn’t sell out before then.)  This poor mechanical creature was basically dumped by its museum and left to be sold to some creep who collects giant dinosaur animatronics.  The 20 foot triceratops robot packs two motion sensors in its eyes, which can be very helpful, and giant speakers that can make what scientists believe to be “dinosaur sounds.”  Who are we to say what dinosaurs sounded like?  Why is it so hard to believe that they loved singing Billy Joel?  *chorus of dinosaurs singing “We Didn’t Start the Fire.”*

20 Foot Triceratops Robot

triceratops robot


This cool creature is being sold by Hammacher, and hopefully someone will find room for it in their home.  It would be a wonderful burglar deterrent, wouldn’t it?  *Burglar walks into house, burglar promptly runs out of house.*  Who would dare to rob somebody who has a moving and roaring 20 foot triceratops robot?  I would, because I know that it can’t move.  The average person, who hasn’t subscribed to Cool Gizmo Toys, would be scared to the point of death.