Why The Ostrich Sleeping Pillow Is A Terrible Idea

Everyone is psyched about a new product called the Ostrich ( osterich, as spelled by some ), which I find to be unbelievable.  This pillow is supposed to help you sleep on any kind of table by giving you a soft place to put your hands and head.  There are so many things wrong with this product, and I am here to save your money, your dignity, and possibly even your life.

The Ostrich Pillow – Robbery Is Inevitable


weird ostrich sleeping pillow



It is inevitable that while you have your head and hands stuffed into a giant ball of fluff, someone will rob you.  One of the ostrich pillow‘s highlights is that it blocks out noise so that you can sleep peacefully.  Yeah, that’s great until someone decides to walk up, take your bags, spill your coffee, and walk away.

Ostrich Sleeping Pillow – Oxymoronic Catch Phrase


easy to carry ostrich sleeping pillow



The Ostrich pillow’s great slogan and appeal is that it will allow workers to sleep at their job.  Wow – now we see how far the world has come today.  “Hey, what are you doing there, Todd?”  “Nothing, Jim, I’m just getting some over-time by sleeping with this dorky mask-thing pulled over my head.”  Oh, wait.  Since the ostrich sleeping pillow effectively blocks out sound, you won’t be bothered by your boss when he fires you for literally sleeping on the job.

Ostrich Pillow – Suffocation?


ostrich puts its head in the sand



Since it appears that this geeky Ostrich pillow has no holes except the ones for your head and hands, I feel like suffocation is likely.  Where is the air coming from?  I think you’re just going to end up breathing the evaporated sweat coming from your face and hands.  Then again, ostriches don’t die because the stick their heads into sand.  I wonder how long an ostrich can hold its breath?

Ostrich Pillow – Don’t Tempt Your Coworkers


balloons fill cubicle prank


If I were the coworker of someone using the Ostrich pillow, I know that I wouldn’t let them come out of it unscathed.  Think about it – you can do whatever they want without them noticing, since the Ostrich pillow creates their own little world.  The best prank to pull on someone sleeping in the Ostrich pillow is to fill their office entirely with balloons without them noticing.  I would have so much respect for anyone who managed to pull that off.  I would change the name of my site to read, “This Person Is Awesome, A Cool Gizmo Toys Affiliate.”