Branch Holder – Piece of Rubber That Turns Sticks Into Swords

The branch holder, a piece of rubber that will make your kid feel like he has a toy sword, makes me sad.  Do you want to know why it makes me sad?  It proves that people are about as imaginative as a patch of moss.  Hey, dude!  Guess what?  I got this piece of rubber I can put on a stick to make me feel like I have a sword!  Guess what it’s called!  The branch holder!  You know why?  Because it holds branches!  Ingenious!

Branch Holder From Stick To Sword


branch holder


The branch holder is a perfect toy for all of those parents who are too cheap to buy their kid a plastic sword.  It is also a great idea for those parents encouraging their kids to beat other children with sticks.  This way, when the police show up and they spot a small child hitting another small child with a stick, the whole incident can be blamed on imagination and playfulness.  THWACK!  THWACK!  THWACK!  Hey!  Kid!  Stop that!  THWACK!  Officer, we’re just playing with our new branch holders – there’s nothing to worry about.  He’ll regain consciousness in a couple of days.


branch holder


The branch holder is not currently available for sale, but some of you might be interested in buying it.  The solution?  There is none.  I suppose you’ll just have to wait in agony until the developer discovers that there’s actually a large market of people who believe this toy will stimulate imagination rather than make kids believe that a stick can’t be a sword without a rubber finger guard.

Further Reading:  Amazing Zen-Inspiring Bonsai Trees