The branch holder, a piece of rubber that will make your kid feel like he has a toy sword, makes me sad. Do you want to know why it makes me sad? It proves that people are about as imaginative as a patch of moss. Hey, dude! Guess what? I got this piece of rubber I can put on a stick to make me feel like I have a sword! Guess what it’s called! The branch holder! You know why? Because it holds branches! Ingenious!
Branch Holder From Stick To Sword
The branch holder is a perfect toy for all of those parents who are too cheap to buy their kid a plastic sword. It is also a great idea for those parents encouraging their kids to beat other children with sticks. This way, when the police show up and they spot a small child hitting another small child with a stick, the whole incident can be blamed on imagination and playfulness. THWACK! THWACK! THWACK! Hey! Kid! Stop that! THWACK! Officer, we’re just playing with our new branch holders – there’s nothing to worry about. He’ll regain consciousness in a couple of days.
The branch holder is not currently available for sale, but some of you might be interested in buying it. The solution? There is none. I suppose you’ll just have to wait in agony until the developer discovers that there’s actually a large market of people who believe this toy will stimulate imagination rather than make kids believe that a stick can’t be a sword without a rubber finger guard.
Further Reading: Amazing Zen-Inspiring Bonsai Trees